How to Stop Overthinking

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SUMMARY

Many people are prone to ruminating and dwelling on issues for a long time especially in these challenging times.

In the first part of this video episode I describe my own experience related to my YouTube channel. I was overthinking if I could talk about many other topics aside from those that have gotten many views,  if I should spending a lot of time editing my own videos, and if live streaming would be a better alternative to pre-recorded and edited videos. From this case study coming from my own experience. I ended the video by answering two questions. One on my reason for purchasing on credit instead of using cash. The second is about my vote in the coming Philippine national elections.

In the podcast, I focused on my case of overthinking and I have drawn 4 lessons to help the listeners learn how to stop overthinking. These lessons are best remembered with the acronym TGIF:

• TAKE ACTION even in a tiny portion of that problem you have.
• Give yourself GRACE that you are not perfect and you can also fall into overthinking.
• FIND INSPIRATION and open yourself to the possibility that you could learn from other people.
• FACE YOUR FEARS and tackle these fears either at the level of logic or emotions or both.

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INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

TRANSCRIPT

I have been overthinking the YouTube channel for a month.

Probably you haven't seen me for a month and that is because I've been overthinking this. The thing is I’ve seen also other creators trying to say goodbye or trying to say “this is the last time you'll see me teaching this.” So somehow i got into that bandwagon of really trying to see what do I want to do in my channel. 

The last video that I did was on how not to appear like a ghost in Zoom. And I think somehow with this, there are some things in my lights and in my  green screen that is not good enough. So still I'm trying to really work without spending again on lights, without buying anything. I’m really trying to make do with what i have.

So as i was saying I’m trying to rethink about my channel, probably overthinking it that it took me already a month. And at the same time, I got involved or I got busy trying to do my second digital course. 

If I change something in my channel, what will happen to my viral video? I’m not talking about the viral views of one million. I just heard from a creator that to be viral really doesn't have to be a million. It's really like comparatively speaking, compared to all my other videos, there is really that video really went viral. It got viewed many times and that is about right now 60,000 views. So i rode onto that and I came up with another video that now could be 8,000 views on why the blur background might not be working.

Then I don't really want to focus on Zoom, on the blur background, so this is another thing that I was rethinking. What are the other topics that i could talk about in my channel? 

Then I was also rethinking about editing my own videos. I have someone like Trish Lee complimenting me that I’m editing my own videos. But i said (and that is a public conversation in one of the comments in one of my videos) I’m just trying to do it. I would try to do it until i could hire someone who will edit my videos. For the meantime i've been doing it but somehow the last one -the last video on how not to appear like a ghost in Zoom took me about four days to finish. And i thought that's the last thing i will do.

And I really thought about live streaming so that really everything is live. There's really no way i could edit it. And really I might just fail forward. I will make mistakes along the way, make mistakes with people, with audience viewing me make mistakes. But then again, I should not spend too much time in the editing.

So that's what I thought. And I recall I video-ed myself saying "okay watch me on Saturday, I’m going to live stream starting Saturday." And that will be my 100th public video.  Then I realized that was actually my 90th after my video on how not to appear as a ghost in Zoom. So i made a mistake! I thought, “oh dear I really wanted it to be my 100th video.” But in the end I said it doesn't really matter. This is my 90th video that I’m going to do or start live stream. I just have to start it because again it's taking me time to edit.

And another thing that really pushed me to do live streaming is this. Yesterday i was going to give a talk to about 12 people, 3 of them would not be around so I would record myself during the talk. And as I was typing (and I was not really typing everything and really prepare my speech because I wanted it to be more spontaneous),  my laptop froze. When the laptop restarted, I only had the title of my talk. Everything I had typed so far disappeared. Unlike my PC before (I am using a Mac now) I could get a recovered version of Word file. This time I could not get anything. So within less than 45 minutes I just had to really redo everything. I just wrote whatever I remembered. With this incident, I was really thinking i could do things really more spontaneously.  I wouldn't freeze out of fear. So i thought i could make it, I could make it live streaming.

There you have it, my own experience of overthinking.

I decided to go public about it because I know I am not alone, many people especially in the difficult times are prone to ruminating and dwelling on issues for a long time. 

And what lessons can we draw from this experience?

I have 4 lessons that start with these letters TGIF. It’s Friday today. And indeed “thank God, it’s Friday.”

The first lesson is T for taking action. If you find yourself overthinking,  then get into problem solving mode. Focus on one issue.  

For me these could be: how can I experiment on other topics without antagonizing a specific segment of my audience. Or how can I subcontract the video editing without spending a lot of money?  What can I do to lessen the time I spend on editing?

For someone who wants to find another job, the issues can be broken down into: How do I revise my resume? Where will I send my job applications? Should I tell my partner or parents that I will be resigning from my job soon?

For someone who is hard up with rising gasoline prices, the subject of overthinking could be made simpler into any of these: How will I go to work if I sell the car? How will my income support the current higher expenses? How will i invest the car sales proceeds?

These questions need specific answers, and they are more in digestible form rather than overthinking the general question of how do I move on in my YouTube channel, how do I get a new job or what do I do with my car.

Chopping your issues into smaller forms would make it easier to find the corresponding solutions, and thus prevent the issues to stay in the head. 

Remember this: taking action is worth more than imagining, as it will take you to achieve your goals, your purpose, your objective. 

Thinking alone can only take us to a certain point, knowing perhaps this could happen, ok. This person might not like the idea, well alright.

In other words, imagining the possible consequences, what would happen, what might arise, they all stay at the level of possibilities, even just ideas in your head, you’ve got to turn that knowledge into decisions, and action plans.

An overthinking driver looks at the map and finds out there is traffic here, road blocks there, and then what happens.. Looking at the map and getting all crowd sourced information won’t take him one step further from where he is.  Unless he begins to step on the brake pedal, turn on the car, and releases the brake pedal,  he is not going to be one millimeter away from his original position and closer to his destination 

Unless the overthinking person takes action, she would not know what the journey is really like and recalibrate his position, rethink her plans, etc. 

 The second lesson for my own experience of overthinking  is G for giving yourself grace. no one is perfect, no one is exempted from overthinking. 

Is it possible that everyone is liable to overthink ? Yes I am sure each one of us has gotten into this. We differ only in the amount of time and emotions dedicated into overthinking.  

Even an active person who can’t stand still could find new situations that lend to longer thinking, and external obstacles that hinder acting fast. The Covid-19 pandemic for example is totally new and it has put everyone out of balance. 

Do you know someone who has smoothly transitioned from work in the office to work at home, helping the kids with the Zoom meetings and lesson manuals, without any delays, with harmony in all his actions, as if he could think immediately what to do from one step to another?

I don’t know anyone who has done that. And I know many who have adjusted with more or less difficulty. 

So give yourself grace. give yourself permission to not be perfect. Each one possesses his/her own degree of what is “over” in overthinking. Feel a sense of being part of a community, each one has his own struggles and no is asking you to be a perfect action-taker. 

How do you move on from overthinking while giving yourself grace? Resolve to create constraints for issues you will face in the future. Say, I’ve got to think of this in a week. I’ll concentrate on this within three days and I will move on. If that sounds too precise, then tap into your habits and history and see on the average when you can afford time and friends and family, how long does it take you on the average to resolve an issue. 

And then make a decision from the level of high energy because overthinking is more likely when you are drained, when you think you’ve done all when you think this won’t work. So honor what you have done so far, and give yourself a RESET to try again or to innovate or even just do the same thing but again from a new position of higher energy level.

The third lesson is I for inspiration. Be open to get ideas from books, or audio books or videos. You never know what gem you will get from other people’s stories. Nowadays as we are now two years from the time the shutdown was triggered by the Covid-19 pandemic, I get to hear about shifting gears, people changing strategies, etc. And that morning of the day I filmed the video that I was overthinking, I saw in my feed a post about a livestream on transitioning your brand. I sat on the entire livestream and learned a lot. 

Is it all serendipity? It could be, but you’ve also got to have an attitude of being open, on the lookout that solutions might just be around the corner. Be open and excited to learn something new. Don’t be the host that opens her house to guests and avoids that one who tends to same the same story over and over again. Train your brain to shut down those voices. You'll never know what you will get from being open to listen.

For the last letter in our TGIF lesson, I have F for face your fears.

Fear is a human reaction to the unknown. I fear dogs because I don’t know what they will do to me. We can overthink the outcomes or consequences that we are afraid might happen if we act. So we can confront them at the level of logic and of emotions. 

For example, when I go out of this house that is in within a zone of vegetation and wildlife, I can encounter not just one dog but several dogs. So because I have a trauma of dogs I tackled my fear by going always with an umbrella and I swing it as I walk. I don’t use It as a cane as I have no problem with walking, I swing it as a mental trick that I won’t have any dog following me closely. The swinging umbrella will keep the distance, protecting both of us- the dog(s) and me. That’s how I faced my fear or else, I wouldn’t be able to walk and appreciate nature’s bountiful beauty around me. 

For the fear of consequences of transitioning in the topics, I’ve heard other channel creators fearing more the fear of talking ad nauseam about a topic they have been tackling in their channel for years. It’s as if that is all they know. So they took courage to transition.  

So what I would recommend when you are overthinking because of fear is to write down what you are afraid of and why would that scary outcome make you even happier. For me, I would like to try other topics I would be happier to talk about.  I might be afraid of not anymore experiencing a viral video but at least I will turn out happier continuing with YouTube. 

So my friend, the next time you catch yourself overthinking, think TGIF:

TAKE action even in a tiny portion of that problem you have.

Give yourself GRACE that you are not perfect and you can also fall into overthinking.

Find INSPIRATION, and open yourself to the possibility that you could learn from other people.

FACE your fears, tackle them either at the level of logic or emotions or both.

And you will find yourself getting nearer to a decisive life.